The Obvious Reasons Why Pain Really Changes People


I've been meaning to write here in my blog for some days now, but unfortunately didn't have the time. I did resolve instead to make sure to do it before the Holy week ends. Today is Good Friday and I’d like to think I've thought about a subject that is timely.

This fateful day, I will not write how the Cross changed our hearts, our very souls, and our lives; rather I will fill this post with the breathings of my heart as William Wordsworth put it, about pain.

About the pain that disconcert our senses. It’s somehow close to the pain that broke our hearts seeing our King crucified. It’s almost the same pain that brought us to tears and realized how unworthy we are and how much we needed Grace. This kind of pain that I would like to confer, however, is what we experience over and over again because of other people, our own mistakes, shortcomings and failures.


Our life journey traverses peaks and valleys and moments in deep despair. O, how often do we wonder about why pain seems to be an elusive foe? 

A lot of times we would ask the Divine why life is hard. Why do we need to suffer pain? Why do we have to accept that it is a part of life?

I, too, time and again would inquire the same questions. No matter how hard we try to suppress it, to avoid it, it’s one of the inanities of life that will not come to an end.


Pain changes people.

Frequently we would hear people utter that it can be of benefit too. Over the years you and I try to console ourselves by believing that it will eventually make our lives better, if not, happier. 

When we think of pain, images of fortuitous events began to flash into our minds. Thinking about pain, we hark back to people that caused it, or the wrong decisions we've made. Reminiscing the experience suddenly brought bolts of ache in our hearts. 


During the ordeal, we're confused, downcast and desperate. We can’t seem to figure out what good it would bring.

Some pain left deep, ugly scars in our hearts, in our entire being. And sometimes it would take a lot of time to heal. For others, the wounds haven’t totally closed. The fortunate ones, favored by time eventually moved on.


Pain changes people. But it can only lead to make them bitter or better.

I found people giving up the fight and quit. I also found people, with great resiliency, withstand. I become conscious about the difference between the two.

What was their raison d’etre? What keeps them going?


People who survived accepted their situation, fathom what they can learn from it and make it their learning ground. Above all, despite the fact that they cannot fully understand the entire torment, they have hope, they have faith. Things will get better, they would tell themselves.


In a world fraught with heartaches, we need to convince ourselves to transform the most mundane or pathetic life situation into an avenue for learning and growth. I also believe that pain not only changes people, but it also gives them the opportunity to give a hand to those who are hurting too.

To let our pain become a source of inspiration and illumination and let it reflect the best parts of our psyche and soul. Pain changes people, and it can transform us so much so to bring plane goodness into the world, if we choose to.


Pain can sometimes mean discipline. Remember: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11). 


But if your pain was caused by a loss of love one, remind yourself that, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28). And that God is faithful; “You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.”(Psalm 30:11).


You may also want to read: 

Here Lies The Key To Saying NO For Your Own Good
How To Strike The Balance You Badly Need In Life Right Now
7 Quick and Simple Strategies to Effectively Boost Your Energy

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